Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell.

Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.

I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French.

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter.

I read a column by George Will that SCARFACE should be rated X because parents were taking their children to see it. So what? Why should the motion-picture industry be responsible for our morality? Dad says to Mom, `SCARFACE is in town.' `What's it about?' `Human scum who kill each other over cocaine deals.' `Sounds great! Let's take the kids!'

The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather be a jerk than a scientist when it comes to love.