Never ask a woman why she's angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Both ways, you lose.

Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter.

Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic.

Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell.

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn.

They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

Favorite color: I hate colors.