When you're missing your two front teeth, that's honesty. That is a door to your oral history. You're not covering anything up. You're saying, 'Hey world, I'm missing my front teeth. I'm gross; I'm dirty; I'm poor. I clearly have no problem with public urination and eating garbage. Don't come near me, I'll gum you to death!
Iliza ShlesingerEveryone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every day in my life.
Iliza ShlesingerThe only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.
Iliza ShlesingerYou're not a road comic till you've watched Real Sex and American Greed alone in your hotel room.
Iliza ShlesingerWhen you're missing your two front teeth, that's honesty. That is a door to your oral history. You're not covering anything up. You're saying, 'Hey world, I'm missing my front teeth. I'm gross; I'm dirty; I'm poor. I clearly have no problem with public urination and eating garbage. Don't come near me, I'll gum you to death!
Iliza ShlesingerI learned this one growing up in Texas and, subsequently, living in Los Angeles: always use the 'usted' form when speaking to a Spanish official. Mexican border patrol cops don't like it when you call them 'amigo,' give them a hardy pat on the back, slip a $20 in their pocket. No bueno, it doesn't fly. By the way, those of you not laughing at that obviously took French in high school, and that was a gay choice.
Iliza Shlesinger