Everyone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every day in my life.

I always wished my dad was there to intimidate my boyfriends or something. It's supposed to be your dad giving your guys friends the stink-eye for sneaking beer through your house, not your mom.

You know what happened the last time a group of people said, 'Screw it, we don't care what you think'? They got hung as witches.

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

You're not a road comic till you've watched Real Sex and American Greed alone in your hotel room.

We've all been there, onstage. You say something you don't mean, you make fun of something on accident but... This wasn't that. This wasn't crowd work. This was a rehearsed set. This was pointed.

Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I'll go with the fries.