My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing.

I'm sure back in the Greek days or the Roman Empire days, when guys fought in arenas and were fighting lions, people were talking smack. Every era in history has someone talking smack. No way you can have talent and not proclaim your victory.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.

You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?

I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.

I'm putting on a suit and tie when I go see The Great Gatsby.