Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

I'm, like, everybody's friend. I'm one of those dudes. I can be friends with anybody. Any race of person, any personality, I can kind of deal with them. I accept different types of people.

You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.

Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.

I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

I think comedy evolves constantly. I reinvent myself all the time. I always find a way to entertain myself because I truly believe you have to entertain yourself in order to relate it the right way to your audience.

True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.