That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn't have passed away, I wouldn't have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would've never auditioned for Curb.

True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.

You can't let people take advantage of you. Go get that ass.

If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.

I never write jokes, I just try to make myself laugh.