That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.

If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.

Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.

Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.