You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.

My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.

To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.

I'm, like, everybody's friend. I'm one of those dudes. I can be friends with anybody. Any race of person, any personality, I can kind of deal with them. I accept different types of people.

Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.

It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.

You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?