I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and seven of those married. We got married on 07/07/07. We support each other 150 percent. We have fun. We are a modern-day Sonny & Cher. I don't sing. My wife sings. We're so different, but so alike. We got that ying and yang thing going on. You see it, but you don't know how it works.

I'm on my version of the protein diet, but there ain't no protein in it. It's a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers.

Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.

I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.

Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.

That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.