Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself.

Just broke up with somebody. Well, it wasn't really a break up, it was a booty call I might have took too serious.

I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.

I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.

I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.

When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.

I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.