I may even show up behind the camera. I love to put things together; I love to give direction. I have a great eye for pace.

If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are dying. The next show, I try to repeat it, I can't do it. Because with the first audience that was our moment. It can't happen the same way again. We were all there: a certain type of people were at that show and we all got it.

To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.

I most resemble Benjamin Button. I evolve. I attach myself to the heartbeat of whatever is going on at that particular time, or I just chart a new path.

That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.