I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me.

I could never live with you; not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.

What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.

I’m trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don’t know if there’s any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

Just broke up with somebody. Well, it wasn't really a break up, it was a booty call I might have took too serious.

You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?