Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.

You can't take everything that is offered to you. I pass on a lot of stuff, because I truly believe that I will shine better if I could do it 200 percent rather than do it 80 percent and make it so-so.

You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.

For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.

People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.

I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.