Keep it real by being straight forward. Don't pull no punches on people. It's better to tell somebody than just lollygag around, letting them think they're living their life the right way. Because some people don't know what the hell they're doing, they don't know if they're living the right way or making the right decisions. Some people don't know that.

I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.

I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.

For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.

Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.

We came here to pick up chicks, not talk about dicks.

At the top of this list has to be "get in that ass". It's the ultimate Leonism to get you through life.