We talk about how many women were raped last year, not about how many men raped women.

Calling gender violence a women's issue is part of the problem. It gives a lot of men an excuse not to pay attention.

Many young men in the 1960s and 1970s came to reject some of the traditional ideas about manhood that many of their fathers tried to pass down - like unquestioning respect for authority even when that might mean killing and dying for questionable or unjust causes such as the Vietnam War.

We need to redefine strength in men, not as the power over other people, but as forces for justice.

It's a bad thing that happens to women, but when you look at that term 'violence against women,' nobody is doing it to them. It just happens to them. Men aren't even a part of it.

We need more men with the guts, with the courage, with the strength, with the moral integrity to break our complicit silence and challenge each other and stand with women and not against them.

Typical news accounts and commentaries about school shootings and rampage killings rarely mention gender.