There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.

A vacation should be just long enough that your boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.

No woman is likely ever to be elected President - they never reach the required legal age.

Junior was being chided for his low grades. Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was held up as an example. "Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father. "No," Junior admitted, "but he's different. He has very bright parents".

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving.

Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.

Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.