Junior was being chided for his low grades. Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was held up as an example. "Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father. "No," Junior admitted, "but he's different. He has very bright parents".

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.

No woman is likely ever to be elected President - they never reach the required legal age.

You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

The bad things you can see with one eye closed. But keep both eyes wide open for the little things. Little things mark the great dividing line between success and failure.

A vacation should be just long enough that your boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.

Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.