Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.

Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

Junior was being chided for his low grades. Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was held up as an example. "Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father. "No," Junior admitted, "but he's different. He has very bright parents".

You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

No woman is likely ever to be elected President - they never reach the required legal age.

The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.

Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.