My mind is not a bed to be made and remade.

New Year's resolution: To refrain from saying witty, unkind things, unless they are really witty and irreparably damaging.

The maddest phenomenon in this wholly mad world – that the filming or wirelessing of an event, whether it is the Grand National or an attack in force on the Maginot Line, is held to be of more importance than the event itself.

Long experience has taught me that in England nobody goes to the theatre unless he or she has bronchitis.

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

Your Englishman, confronted by something abnormal will always pretend that it isn't there. If, however, you force him to look into it, he'll at once pretend that he sees the object not for what it is but for something that he would like it to be.

My mind is not a bed to be made and remade.