Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

I don't know very much but what I do know I know better than anybody, and I don't want to argue about it…My mind is not a bed to be made and re-made.

Your Englishman, confronted by something abnormal will always pretend that it isn't there. If, however, you force him to look into it, he'll at once pretend that he sees the object not for what it is but for something that he would like it to be.

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

In her early days she had that beatific expression characteristic of Victorian prettiness - like a sheep painted by Raphael.

I... wonder what it is in the New York air that enables me to sit up till all hours of the night in an atmosphere which in London would make a horse dizzy, but here merely clears the brain.

Shaw's plays are the price we pay for Shaw's prefaces.