I still felt like I might hurl, and I thought about how awful that would be in midair.

I'd been told that he had been created-literally created-just for me,as my "perfect other half." Let me tell you-if Dylan was my perfect other half, then i needed to give my first half a seriouis look-see.

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?

I gave him a kick and he stepped back onto the third rail. Exploding, flaming eraser! This is why moms tell you to stay away from the third rail, but it sure came in handy this time.

I'm a freaking princess when it comes to other people's feelings. Yo dogbreath, get your paws of the everglades. -Max

NOOOO!" On the screen, a woman's eyes bugged almost out of her head, and I tried not to scream. Tried not to scream in exasperation, I mean. The serial killer was right in front of her, wide open! Clearly, instead of weeping like a moron, she could be lunging forward and administering a swift uppercut to the chin. Then this entire pointless ordeal would be over with, and I could go home.

Lots of women are gifting themselves with diamonds for their right hand.