I can feel a thing I cannot touch and touch a thing I cannot feel. The first is sad and sorry, the second is your heart.

In the pathways between office and home and home and the houses of settled people there are always, ready to snap at you, the little perils of routine living, but there is no escape in the unplanned tangent, the sudden turn.

This is the posture of fortunes slave: one foot in the gravy, one foot in the grave.

The sanity of the average banquet speaker lasts about two and a half months; at the end of that time he begins to mutter to himself, and calls out in his sleep.

Somebody has said that woman's place is in the wrong. That's fine. What the wrong needs is a woman's presence and a woman's touch. She is far better equipped than men to set it right.

The trouble with the lost generation is that it didn't get lost enough.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.