All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.

With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.

It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa.

History is replete with proofs, from Cato the Elder to Kennedy the Younger, that if you scratch a statesman you find an actor, but it is becoming harder and harder, in our time, to tell government from show business.

I could have killed Gregory Fitzhurst at three hundred feet with my left hand.

The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.

Though statisticians in our time have never kept the score, Man wants a great deal here below and Woman even more.