All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.

A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps.

The things we laugh at are awful while they are going on, but get funny when we look back. And other people laugh because they've been through it too. The closest thing to humor is tragedy.

It did not take Man long-probably not more than a hundred centuries-to discover that all the animals except the dog were impossible around the house. One has but to spend a few days with an aardvark or llama, command a water buffalo to sit up and beg or try to housebreak a moose, to perceive how wisely Man set about his process of elimination and selection.

The unicorn is a mythical beast.

Looks can be deceiving; it's eating that's believing.

For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.