This is the posture of fortunes slave: one foot in the gravy, one foot in the grave.

For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.

I hate women because they have brought into the currency of our language such expressions as "all righty" and "yes indeedy" and hundreds of others.

He had as much fun in the water as any person I have known. You didn't have to throw a stick in the water to get him to go in. Of course, he would bring back a stick to you if you did throw one in. He would even have brought back a piano if you had thrown one in.

I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method.