The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

So much has already been written about everything that you can't find out anything about it.

All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.

It takes that je ne sais quoi which we call sophistication for a woman to be magnificent in a drawing-room when her faculties have departed but she herself has not yet gone home.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.