The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

The difference between our decadence and the Russians is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic.

A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps.

Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.

I drew pictures rapidly and with few lines, because I had to write most of the pieces, too, and couldn't monkey long with the drawings. The divine urge was no higher than that.

But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.