The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

Every man is occasionally visited by the suspicion that the planet on which he is riding is not really going anywhere; that the Force which controls its measured eccentricities hasn't got anything special in mind. If he broods on this somber theme long enough he gets the doleful idea that the laughing children on a merry-go-round or the thin, fine hands of a lady's watch are revolving more purposely than he is.

You are all a lost generation," Gertrude Stein said to Hemingway. We weren't lost. We knew where we were, all right, but we wouldn't go home. Ours was the generation that stayed up all night.

The difference between our decadence and the Russians is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic.

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.

If you are a police dog, where's your badge?