The sanity of the average banquet speaker lasts about two and a half months; at the end of that time he begins to mutter to himself, and calls out in his sleep.

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

The act of writing is either something the writer dreads or actually likes, and I actually like it. Even re-writing's fun. You're getting somewhere, whether it seems to move or not.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.

Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision.

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.