Art – the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised

It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa.

I hate women because they have brought into the currency of our language such expressions as "all righty" and "yes indeedy" and hundreds of others.

Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

There are two kinds of light - the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.

Writers of comedy have outlook, whereas writers of tragedy have, according to them, insight.