I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents.

I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

People don't need sex so much as they need to be listened to.

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas.

If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.

It's one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense.