It's not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now. But if I were truly ambitious, I think I'd already be more than I am now.

The truth can be made up if you know how.

Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.

To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth.

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?

Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand.

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.