The truth can be made up if you know how.

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

I feel like my life is just passing me by like two ships in the night. And I have missed both boats.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs?

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.