Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand.

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas.

When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.

I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.

I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents.

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

What you try to bury just ends up burying you.