Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand.

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

Infinity: Time on an ego trip.

You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug to my children, but it does help when I take it myself.

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?

If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.