I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.

I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.

I feel bad that people think that "feminism" is a dirty word. I don't understand that at all, I'm proud to be labeled a feminist. I consider myself a person who has throughout my entire life stood up for myself. It's never been my ambition to be someone who takes a backseat to anything. I'm not a male basher at all. I divide people into assholes and non-assholes, and that's genderless. I encounter sexism everyday.

Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against the corporation. Right-wingers hate that.

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'