I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. "Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place." I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman.

Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush." Mary Lou Molnar

I almost never shoot people.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.