Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.

There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing." Ranger

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.

I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset." Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.

I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. "Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place." I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman.

What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?" Helen Plum

You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.