Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.

Thats what her cars do," Lula said. "They explode. But I gotta tell you this was the best. This here's the first time she exploded a garbage truck. One time her truck got hit with an antitank missile. That wasn't bad either, but it couldn't compare to this.

Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.

Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.

And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert.