Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.

If you want to cry, you're not going to like my books.

He rooted for the Mets, he wore Foot of the Loom underwear, and he drove a Buick. His loyalties were carved in stone and he wasn't about to be impressed with some upstart of a toaster salesman who drove a Bonneville.

Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside.

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist." "Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.

Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you