Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.

Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.

Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.

Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.

You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter." Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines

Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage? Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.

I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.