I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.

they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August

Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.

Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.

I like being able to provide consistent and frequent literary choices for my fans.