You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli

Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.

I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?

Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.

I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.

they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August

I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.