Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll try," Ziggy said, "but it's a hard habit to break.

Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage? Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.

Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie

Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.

I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!

Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.