Most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.
Group texts are the worst. They're like a terrible, technological snowball, coming down a mountain, and you can't stop it.
A duck tastes the same whether they're shot sitting or flying.
I'm into the true meaning of Christmas - Faith, Family, and Facial hair.
My parents were hoarders before hoarding was cool
Most things in life are better when you just cut to the chase.