My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?

Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year.

You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke the 11th commandment, 'Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff.'

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years.

They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out.