The car was the iPhone of the 20th century. Kids these days don't have to drive anymore. They just go there virtually.

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

Have you seen the cover of Newsweek? They have Martha Stewart on the cover, but it's not actually Martha. It's a doctored photo. They put Martha's head on a slimmer woman's body. And Martha was very upset about this. She said, 'Hey, if I wanted my face on another woman's body, I'd stay in prison.'

Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife.

Con artists are using Obamacare confusion to sign people up for fake health insurance. The scammers lure victims with false promises like, 'If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep your healthcare plan.' The scammers will tell you that, so you have to be careful.

President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'

Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count Hillary in 2016.