It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement.

President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.

Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra has charged the Bush administration with keeping programs secret from Congress. Somehow no one from Congress reads the New York Times, I guess.

Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed.