Remember when Obama was campaigning? Didn't he say he was going to close Guantanamo Bay? Didn't he say that? Apparently, he just meant for renovations.

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

Happiness is a privilege.

Soup is probably a way associated with screwing you outside of a meal.

Big scandal on the new 'Survivor' series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team.

You know, it shows how old I am. I can remember the good old days when the president picked the Supreme Court justices instead of the other way around.

On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, ''Phhh, you mean like last time?'