9% would give up sex for the remote control. 91% has already given up sex for the remote control!

Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.

America needs ObamaCare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that God is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney!

President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?