9% would give up sex for the remote control. 91% has already given up sex for the remote control!

Astronomers have discovered a planet that is twice the size of earth and made of diamonds. President Obama says the planet may be inhabited by aliens not paying their fair share.

It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You know what would be better? Arnold should do what he does in the Terminator movies. He should go back in time and prevent Gray Davis from ever being born. That way you wouldn't have the problem.

"I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.

Actually, Joe Biden looked pretty good. In fact, Joe's popularity has gone from 1% to 2% last week to 3% today. At this rate, he could win the nomination by the year 2032.