Today the Justice Department released e-mails where Walker criticized America. In the e-mails he said he never wanted to set foot in America again. See, that's the good part about hanging somebody. Their feet don't touch the ground.

The Iraqis sat down for talks on how to put together a post-war government. They would have sat down yesterday, but somebody stole all their couches.

A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama's economic policy is also his climate change policy.

Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.

I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that?

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".

This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a President, we get two choices. But when we have to select a Miss America, we get 50.