When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth.

Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.

Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.

On Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales raised his right hand, swore to tell the truth, and then everybody had a good laugh and went back to what they were doing.

Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It's going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as women grow another breast, men will want another hand.

Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's no way to win! If Osama dies, you don't get paid. If you're found, you get killed.

You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network.