The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off.
Jay LenoLike in [the 1950s] if you wanted to ruin someoneยดs career in Hollywood you claimed he was a Communist. Nowadays, you want to ruin someoneยดs career in Hollywood, you claim they are Republican.
Jay LenoI'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that?
Jay LenoDid you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans.
Jay Leno