Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats?

As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he's coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his recall election campaign. Which is ironic, isn't it? When Clinton was president, he couldn't recall anything.

The military said we'll be able to confirm Saddam is dead with DNA testing. Apparently we have a sample of his DNA. So Monica Lewinsky is working for the CIA?

All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle Easterners.

You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.

Yesterday Gary Condit spent the whole day attending an agricultural meeting. Boy, that's when you know a congressman's in real trouble: when he spends the whole day actually working.

The Taliban has asked Osama bin Laden to voluntarily leave the country.They said they delivered him a note asking him to leave, which is a pretty goodtrick considering they claim they don't even know where he is.