Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats?

Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.

Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the Internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. But, see, like most Internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'

An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant operation. The guy is doing fine, but the bad news is, he can't stop throwing rocks at himself.

You know, it shows how old I am. I can remember the good old days when the president picked the Supreme Court justices instead of the other way around.

President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.