The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

Now, I have a Halloween mask I think you might get a kick out of. That's scary.

Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that he paid to his mistress. See, he has just one mistress. Jesse uses the standard mistress deduction. As opposed to Clinton, who had to itemize.

Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.

It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records.

I guess you heard, Hillary Clinton has a new campaign slogan: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn't be any jobs for them.