President Bush announced a major new plan for the United States to put a man on the moon, which would be a really big story if this were 1962. Bush said he didn't remember anything about the 60's - I guess he wasn't lying.

While visiting Kenya, former President Clinton was offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter, Chelsea, by a love struck government official. Bill said, "No way!" How does that make Hillary feel? Bill almost gave her up for one cow.

A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry now, as opposed to a few months ago, they believe he's had Botox shots. They claim a number of his worry lines have vanished. They haven't vanished, just Howard Dean is wearing them now.

The Democrats say that President Bush doesn't have an exit strategy for Iraq. Of course he does. If things don't go well, he exits in November.

Barack Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. So, apparently, when he promised change, he was talking about his mind.

50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can.